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What a girl reallywant on Valentine’sDay

February 14, 2012

(OPINION) – Another ‘Lovers
Day’ is has come and along
with it comes the attending
expectations, breakups and
sudden love realisations. Perhaps it’s just me, but the
expectations seem to have
risen this year. Inflation? (Of
course, we must find a way to
tie everything to the removal
of the fuel subsidy). Anyway. There seems to be this
preconceived notion about
what women want or expect
from their men this season.
Well, I’m here to address
that. For the purposes of this article, I use the term
‘we’ loosely to refer to the
‘average girl’ but I’d like to
state that seeing as I don’t
like to wear earrings, there is
a strong possibility that my views and opinions may not
represent those of general
womenfolk. But you’re here so you might
as well continue reading,
yes? No? Ah well. Nigerian Twitter was in an
uproar the other day
because a guy supposedly
got an iPad, a MacBook Pro,
a pair of Christian Louboutin
shoes and the latest Blackberry Porsche as pre-
valentine gifts for his love
interest. (Pre-valentine?
Really? What does that even
mean?) A rough estimate of
the cost of all this is about half a million naira or so. I
wonder what the Valentine
gifts itself would be like. A
front row seat in heaven? Most Nigerian men believe
that the average Nigerian
woman just wants expensive
presents for Valentine’s.
While this may not be
entirely erroneous, I beg to differ a little. First of all, the gifts do not
have to be expensive. If you
can afford to spoil us silly by
paying for deep tissue
massages at a French spa
and treating us to dinner at the palazzo, please by all
means do so. But if you
cannot afford it, we do not
expect you to sell your
kidneys to do so. It makes no
sense to spend all your life savings on Valentine’s and
then end up drinking garri the
rest of the year. No. It is
never that serious. If you’re really sure it’s love
you’re celebrating (not lust
and its other variants), then I
believe you’re with a partner
who knows and understands
your financial position. The only thing we’d find irksome
is if you can conveniently
afford to do something really
nice but then you decide to
cheapen out and buy her Mr.
Biggs cake. Such behaviour is not
acceptable. The problem isn’t
about the cost of the cake
really but the gesture itself.
It just looks like you don’t
care enough, or are too cheap to treat her specially. And that whole ‘I don’t
believe in Valentine’s day’
line? The absolute worst! Is it
possible that you really don’t
believe in it? Yes sir, it is.
But Oga, if your madam believes in it then you better
go ahead and do something
special for her. Love is about
compromise and doing
‘foolish things’. So if it would
make her happy for you to treat her to dinner and buy
her something nice, then you
better go right ahead and do
so. Wise men know that her
happiness = your happiness. Do we like gifts? Yes. But
even more than gifts, we like
attention. We like to know
that you’re thinking about us;
that you actually put some
thought into what happens that day. If I had to pick
between having you to
myself that day and, not
spending time with you but
receiving a Blackberry
Porsche, Macbook Pro, iPad and pair of Louboutin’s, I’d
pick the former in a
heartbeat. And it is my
humble submission that any
girl/woman/lady/female that
picks the latter is more into your money than you. My two cents? At the end of
the day, people are different.
So know your woman. Know
what gets to her and do all
give her that. If she’s worth your time, she’ll recognise
that and give you an A+ for


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